Waiting in the Hallway

I read somewhere that, “when you’re seeking direction or an answer from God, God doesn’t reveal to you the answer but he reveals to you Himself” (my paraphrase). I have seen this to be true. I have recently been trying to figure out what to do, where to go, and who to be in the midst of it all. Being in God’s will is my heart’s desire and following his leading is what I wish for more, so I thought I was good. But it’s hard to follow God when you’re partly following your ideal path. It’s also hard to listen when you’re screaming. Again, it’s even harder to surrender when you’re holding your ideas and desires tightly.  

Through the process of transition, I have sought to find how full of myself I am and how sweet God’s grace is in the journey and his gentleness ever more. Waiting is never fun and waiting gets extremely boring and frustrating. Waiting is not my expertise. However, Psalms 37:34 says, Wait for Lord and to keep his ways always. Psalms 27:14 puts it this way, Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous, Yes, wait for the Lord.

I know the Lord has been calling to me to wait (he does that a lot), but in the waiting I have found some profound lessons and foundational truths that I needed to have in place before I made any move. I’m one to have a million ideas per minute and I think they are all great and must be acted upon at once! God apparently doesn’t agree time to time, so there’s that. And there I am waiting in the hallway.

 In the hallway I found myself with so many emotions, and training myself to worship in spirit and in truth. Letting God’s word be my guide and going back to the basics. I also learned to be intentional about having fun! I actually enjoyed the hallway talks I had too!  However, I also saw a lot of things about myself I needed to address and surrender. I experienced temptations and saw the struggle to be brave and courageous while I was waiting for direction. When God gives you a waiting time it’s not to waver in your faith but to build your faith! Having confidence in God is not just for alone time with him but it must go with you wherever you go and in every conversation you have. Your confidence in God must be the core of who you are and how you live your life. I found my confidence in him was slim and man, does that prevent you from living bold and courageous!

Another lesson I learned, was from a woman, known to be the Proverbs 31 woman. This is usually when every woman tries to ignore Her great capacity to be awesome at everything. Convicted? Me too.

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her works praise her in the Gates”-Proverbs 31:30-31

 In the hallway, I found myself trying to make plans and make them appealing to the people around me. I strived to make it sound like I knew where I was going. At one point “my plan” was what I was going to do, but when that door shut I was at a loss for direction. Apparently I thought I needed to know everything (turns out you don’t) but I was convinced I did and that prevented me from trusting God. It also prevented me from surrendering all to him. I wanted to be a woman who feared the LORD, in order to that I needed to desperately surrender who I thought I needed to be and what the life I lived looked like… When you are one who fears the LORD there is nothing in your life is in vain. In fact, it’s graced with favor from the Lord, who will lead you.

He opens doors that no man will ever be able to, he is quite the gentleman.

Who are those who fear the LORD? He will show you the path you should choose. They will live in prosperity, and their children shall inherit the land. The LORD is a friend to those who fear him. -Psalms 25:12-14